the aftermath...

Hellooo..

Thanks to those (you know who you are) who have send well wishes, concerns, encouragement through email, sms, facebook throughout the week and those who accompanied me through a bumpy ride.

I’ve never imagine myself to be in this kind of situation.
The kind of heart broken, the kind of disappointment and the kind of helplessness, that you’ll never imagine how pain It was.

It was sweet at the very beginning I would say.
Love was what we believe that it brings 2 peoples from the different world to share the same perimeter in life.
Commitment was what we believe that it bring the 2 peoples to make all the “impossible” happens.
The strong bond between the 2 individuals is one miracle that god’s given
Someone once said “what makes lovers never tired of one another?” is that they talked always about themselves, they shared, they talked heart-to-heart with no boundaries.
And whenever there’s argument, it’s important for lovers to always be reminded of the instant chemistry when the both of them first met each other.

Love is magnificent isn’t it? And I believe there’s more reason for love to exist between 2 individuals and to become one item.

You define it.

Well, a lot of things in life are unpredictable and there are bound to be ups and downs.
And someone once told me that we will all get hurt deeply once in our life.
I believe it now, because I’m going through this period for my life now.
How it turn out to be in times to come, unpredictable.

Allow me to be sad, allow me to be true to my own feelings now.
Because I’ve invested all my feelings and effort in hope to find my own true happiness.
And it isn’t turned out as expected.
The kinda heart broken and incessant pain is traumatizing but I guess that’s the journey I’ve to go through in order to walk out from the pain now.
This will take me sometimes because it will be a tough route to go.

But I’m not losing my faith, I’m still holding hope for my true happiness. :)
Maybe I’m just losing someone who doesn’t love me now.

Keep your gaze upon the sky
Go on with your route towards your happiness

I'll be praying every step along the way

Even though it breaks my heart to know

We'll be so far apart.

Next Chap:

Loveliess,

I’m coming to my birthday celebration and the 1st ever Stag’s and Hen’s night that I attended and participated.
I’m excited for MJ – “Dream Wedding” :D

get a life..

Find your space. Wear what you love. Do what u adore.
Chose the careers that mean something to you, Choose the best for yourself, because there's always somebody who will say "I
would have done that", "i should have worn that colour", "i should have gone for that","why didn't you take that job?".
But if it is comfortable with you and it resonates with you,
then all the other stuffs- it what we just call "conversation".

....

是谁从我天空摘走了星星

一转眼 眉头聚满乌云

从来快乐悲伤都自己判刑

忘了我也值得被关心

一双手一个梦

一路上不断的俯冲

痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过

我的世界是零下的沙漠

其实我也想要拥抱的温柔

融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落

锋锐寂寞把天空都割破

还有谁能够紧握着我的手

陪着我期待消失的彩虹

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴

天灰了，快乐总有限期

从来都陷在孤独的流沙里

忘了我也配被人在意

一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空

精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过

我的世界是零下的沙漠

其实我也想有拥抱的温柔

融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落

锋锐寂寞把天空都割破

还有谁能够紧握着我的手

陪着我期待消失的彩虹

那是谁的温柔留在我的小手

微不足道却那么重

漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没

整个世界是沉默的漩涡

有谁能陪我手牵着手出走

带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求

还有什么可以拥有

把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖

有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁

能让我相信被爱的理由

Back!

Hey darlings..

I'm back from melbourne! :D

I miss melbourne! i miss da weather. i miss da peeps i met there.. 

nevertheless, i miss hot soup noodles.. i miss eating rice... n i miss ma loveliess here toooooo! 

i'm glad to be back... with every pieces of ma heart stands strong on its own now.. 

reads:  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/04/us/politics/04obama.text.html?pagewanted=1&em

( I spent the whole morning reading, n i thought it was a good speech. : )

new hearts..

"Sorry" by Buckcherry

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away

I missed you and things weren't the same[

Cause everything inside it never comes out right

And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue,

I'm sorry about all things I said to you

And I know I can't take it back

I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round

And I just wanted to say I'm sorry

This time I think I'm to blame

it's harder to get through the days

You get older and blame turns to shame.

Every single day, I think about how we came all this way

The sleepless nights and the tears you cried

it's never too late to make it right

Oh yeah sorry!

To all ma loveliesss...nice song! worth listening and repeating! :D
I'm down with fever! 38 deg..:( now i know y why my body is aching da whole day! :(

stroll under the dark sky

walking down the bustling streets, surrounded with the busy crowds..

all i could feel was all silence within. 

i experienced it once and again ever since the first time long ago..

i shouldnt have done that to maself again..

" from this moment "

I was listening to "from this moment" one night before i go to bed..

memories rushes though my mind as the rythm sangs...this is what i jot down in ma notepad..

I was but just a little girl. You were but just that little boy

Love was a hefty ideology neither of us really comprehended, yet it was an allure which was untainted and innocent. We did not know how, but the recreation of that tantalizing magic was based on our minute knowledge of onscreen couples and old affectionate couples down the streets.

Those first stares to that speculative touch, the essence stems from the excitemenent mingled with fear. To all the boys i fancied in school, who carried my bag, walked that extra mile with me to the bus stop, and see me home safely, got taunted being associated with me, secretly stood by me, a boyfriend to me then was an idea i couldnt grasp.

I enjoyed the attention, embraced the affections but diverted all intentions.

i was young. too young to commit my heart to treachery. you see, a girl with zero self-esteem often interprets praise as vivid coulours of mockery. The ones that hits home is that as you get older, the less special loves becomes. the more u kissed, the lesser the rushes came.

To all my passing fancies. To the ones that came and went. To the ones that thought i was larger than life. The temperamental girl that you could never handle, someone you might had never seen the likes of before. We didnt last very long, but i never forget a single moment we shared.

In the odd way that time functions, I think about you every once in a while. You knew me when i was unpredictable, and ever-changing. You knew me when i was never the same person twice. You knew me when i still in controllable, and therefore, uninhibited. In a sense, you knew the real me.

To the hearts i broke. For sticking on so hard because you valued my happiness before yours. For taking every harsh word and every careless thought i threw to you with the tenacity and patience of an age old rock.

You were the ones that taught me how to write, who reminded me how to love, and who said that tomorrow was going to be a better day. When my heart got broken, it was then I remembered how you felt (you never once said I Told You So), and therefore I knew what it was like being you. You were the ones who brought me back to earth.

To the boys i loved. with all my heart. For you i kept the title of "boyfriend" sacred. At a very separate part of my life you were the ones that i ran to for shelter, for help when i was lost. You were part of the few I surrendered my heart to. You were my thoughts, and my actions, and every one of my inspirations.

Bad times aplenty, good times through, and my stories with you are irreplaceable. I grew up with you, and saw life through a different window. Love was once at it's summit when i was with you. Though we might have gone our separate ways somehow, you were the very foundations upon which my life as i know it, stands on.

I would have never been the same had it not been for each and every boy who saw fit to stay, for a while or for longer. To the man i loved today, the same man i'll love tomorrow, for a while or for longer, you are the essence of my life. You are the only other person in the Us that i want to be part of.

For you, I think up silly stories, and dream BIG. For you, I make the effort to understand circumstance. To all the boys who've shared my life. To those that tried to change me for the better, and those who made me my worst. If i had in any way made you a better person, or if you still smile to yourself when you think of me, know that i thought of you today.