Tunnel of Love

It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough
Man meets a woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And you’ve got to learn to live with what you can’t rise above if you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love

Bruce Springsteen, Tunnel of Love, 1987

me-time

my life seems to be just revolving about work for a long time..
and the worst part of it, is that i'm getting used to it. :(

minutes ticking, weeks passes, months elapses..
2010 is coming to an end, so what's next?

i back-tracked my "to-do list" that i've noted down last year and this is what i have..
I’ve a list to-do for 2010, i hope to:

- have my teeth whitened (Yes, i went dentist yesterday after the last time 5-6 years ago)
- get a VAIO lappy (eventually, i have not get one for myself, still using my company's)
- lose at least 3kg (didnt managed to lose any but glad that i didnt put on more)
- read and reflect more, indulge and party less ( read Eat, Pray Love, To Kill The Mocking Bird, Tuesday wih Morries, The Time Traveller's Wife, Life story - Making Pink Lemonade, yupe, that's about it)
- perm my hair (curled it and get it straightened back, wanting curl again!)
- go for yoga and gym religiously (no yoga nor gym, but i do run)
- mug harder for my studies (deferred due to financial)
-maybe consider for a career shift (this is in progress..)
-save more money, travel more. (no travel in 2010, except for back-home-trip with girls)
-get myself a nice indoor tan. (no tanning, getting fairer infact)

looked at how much effort i've actually spent for my own happiness.
Not enough, seriously.
Marathon-Photos-Organisation, you need better photographer, all the pictures are ugly..:(

Wedding dinner @ Novotel Hotellove!

Missing holidays with the girls...

mess..

These weeks…

I’ve depression on my left and loneliness on my right, they exist the moment I breathe awake.
I lived my everyday with overwhelming work, working from 9-to-9 for 3 days a week.
learnt that you gotta chase the rabbit if you want the tail.
had beer at 3pm.
concluded that we are the change that we seek.
watched back to back movies on back to back days, and had a deja-vu moment.
Disturbed by harassing text.
still surviving from the lack of sleep.
these week has been really nasty..

I wish....

Time could stop ticking for a while, feeling rather exhausted chasing after each minute.
I could have long holidays, to a foreign land which I could feel like as if I’m starting a new life.
I could have quiet time by my own, with no BlackBerry, no emails, no calls, no texting.

ok..

I know it’s weird saying this on a public domain but although it might not seem the case, I lack confidence and self-esteem. I always have the worry that I am not good enough, that I am just a pretender and everyone else are unable to see my flaws and inadequacies. I worry that if people see that I am not good, then people will start rejecting me.
I need to learn that it’s okay to be wrong, to be imperfect and to embrace the irritating idiosyncrasies that make me,…me. It’s okay if I am not pretty, or do not possess the perfect body, not the smartest or most successful. I know if I live my life comparing milestones to everyone else, I’d always be miserable.

And this week, I've made the decision to go for a change, accepted the shift, taking new path.

All well I hope...

ELVA蕭亞軒 - 錯的人Ｍｖ

back from holidayss...:)

i do miss holidays... :(

my new-found-love - Lomo

@ illy's Cafe ( Studio M Hotel)

Look! Lomo does MAGIC! simply love it! :D

we are what we choose

What choices will you make?
Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions?
Will you follow dogma, or will you be original?
Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure?
Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions?
Will you bluff it out when you’re wrong, or will you apologize?
Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love?
Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling?
When it’s tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless?
Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder?
Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?

I will hazard a prediction.
When you are 80 years old, and in a quiet moment of reflection narrating for only yourself the most personal version of your life story, the telling that will be most compact and meaningful will be the series of choices you have made.

In the end, we are our choices.
sad to say, at times, our originality are influenced by surroundings, we complicate the simplicity of choices, making choices tough.

tough life...

the beautiful of innocence..

kids are loveable !!! triple hearts!

Introducing : Gretchen & Lucius

Yay! that's Declann

Helloo! i'm Summer.. (i love the name)

Handsome little Kyle!

welcome back!

lovelies! say hello to my straight hair!

Now & Then..

Looooook!
how time has changed meee..:)

the 2 mins that touched..

the last weekends i had..

the sweet you cant resist.. :D

Go for GERMANY! that's all i spent and contribute to world-cup fever 2010!
take a break!

Friday-after-work : bball! (though i'm a noobie.. but i tried!) Hoop it up babe! :)

Saturday-food-overload: we had home steamboatie! slurps!

Scream!!

i cant wait for this!!
feelin' the grooves, let's dance! SCREAM!!

that's what i wish..

I believe in amazing love songs, cry at the sappiest ending in films, every signs point to 'romantic', so why then, do I not let myself believe and fall all the way in?

I have fallen before, let my guard down, with a slightly emotionally unavailable guy I met, I have fallen before, for someone who treats me his world and fallen for someone that was bad for me, and I have tried to fall for someone who was nice, who was constant, but I ended up running anyway.

Love was innocent back then,

The bundle of anticipation waiting to see someone again, how he interfere your steady heart beat, alter your moves, moves you with its pace of his own rythmn.
The necessitate to have someone by your side all the time, the reluctant to bid goodbye, ending the day with him with a long kiss, the shoulder you rushes to when you need a good cry, the first person you always find in your call log.
You feel safe, stable to rest in his arm, he held your hands tight and both walking in the same pace of footsteps, you’ll know that there’s always someone you can date with whenever the rest turn you down for dinner, the voice that you wish to hear for comforts.

I wish I had my innocence back and can love with no fear, fully and deeply again, like I have never been hurt before.

never mind the imperfections..

“Any girl can be pretty, but for true pants-tightening appeal there has to be something working against you just a little bit. It could be a scar you got when you were little, braces or a mole right off center of your nose- that’s what will make you memorable to dudes. Isn’t it? Otherwise, it’s two guys trying and failing to describe you like “Hey do you remember that cute girl from last night?” Which one? “Uh, she had brown hair, a white t-shirt and um… yeah. I’m hungry.” That’s why you got to put those supposed flaws front and center and rock that shit. You’ve got a back brace? Rock it. Chipped tooth? It makes you brassy. Fake leg? Don’t stress.”

Imperfection is where it’s at. Stands out girls.. :)

look into the eyes..

Thanks for the Pics!! was really well-taken! :)

the 20 things you might not know..

1. I hate my fat cheeks.
2. I wear g-strings, low-waisted, but no, no granny/lacey panties.
3. I think blowing kisses is the funniest affectionate action ever but I do that when im feeling happy.
4. I hate the sound of chanting at a funeral.
5. I have very sensitive skin.
6. I like the color “White”.
7. Frankly, I observed and adore vain man.
8. I hate rambutan and jackfruits.
9. I need courage booster to go for brazillian waxing.
10. I really hate pills.
11. I talk to myself when im alone sometimes.
12. Sometimes I just wished to be labeled pretty instead of cute.
13. I don’t like to be ignored.
14. I always dream to speak with a fluent French / Jap.
15. I look at the girls more than I notice guys.
16. I used to dream having my own bath tub, soaking myself in bubbles.
17. If ever there’s a wish to meet someone, I wish I could meet my mom again.
18. I have been the core attention in the family for 25 years I live.
19. I am living with a dream of earning to travel.
20. I can't think of 20 things you might not know about me.

still sweet at 25!

Yay!! Pyjamas Party on 11 june 2010 was a blast!!!!!!!!!! :)

Success!! Yippiee...

Big Thanks to my Party-Girls Committees.
Thanks to all my lovely guests who turned up at the Party and had marked a great memory chapter i turned 25.

Me.

I’ve been getting questions about my personal life and it seems like some of you want to know more about me. Alright! Let me share with all of you something, of how I viewed my life thus far and how i wanted my life to be.

I told myself,
I cannot afford to go through life uninspired, unexcited.

I cannot live each day miserably (though sometimes I had my gloomy days but I know i cannot afford to let it drag for long period),

I cannot trudge through work painfully.

Maybe I’m not meant to be spectacularly beautiful, or rich, or smart and neither am I born outstanding but i valued myself, i love ME!
I have been living my whole life for practicality.

To make those who loves me proud, to finish my education, to get a job, to stop being compared, to not lose out to my peers. I am not made for the competition, for the rat race or the who’s who.
I am Me, I am Kellyn , I should be accountable to myself.

I am exhausted from the wear and tear of the yesteryear,

from being jaded and cynical. I’ve been living life to meet expectations that people casts on me.

It’s time I should reverse the damage.

I want to make sure I am happy.

I. NEED. TO. BE. HAPPY.
Even if that makes me poorer, slower or a loser.

I know I need to look back and tell myself, I have lived dangerously and I have no regrets.

Heaven on Earth..

Wouldn't it be great if we lived in houses that perpetually look like they belongs to a magazine spread?

Loook!! These are just so beautiful like "Heaven on Earth"..

Amanda Seyfried - Little House

.....

it's different, i always thought, when someone dies.
when someone dies, there is a patch of blankness that makes it possible to accept.
A certain satisfaction in encountering the infinite.
But someone is lost to you and still lives, its an absurdity.

People fall in love in an instant, but it takes longer to fall out of love.
Perhaps there is a world where people would act on whim where deeds could detach themselves cleanly from all motion of consequences.
To him, it was an odd kind of nostalgia for things that never happened,
for a presence that like old memories, open a door on another direction,

A place where late night footsteps echo in foreign streets and you hold your breath perishing to know what comes next.
the kind of silence so accommodating, expectancy laughing in the air like clouds hanging over the dome.
With him, it was just a flash of idle curiosity, the kind which evokes a child to poke a stick into an anthill.
An action that, like the unknown secretary's gift of a ticket cannot be undone.

Fyfe Dangerfield - She's Always A Woman

My Friends

Have you seriously thought through, how many friends you’ve made in life?

Who are those that you always turn to whenever you need someone, who you really considered as “Friend”?

To me, it takes a lot to be considered my friend.

I do not take to frivolous friendship; some places makes for a lot of such similarly minded friends.

I term such relationships as proximate friendships.

Proximate friends can be found in places where you happen to be together and experiencing the same things at the same time.

Work perhaps. Short courses and even that gym workout you do every week;

remember who you saw without fail every week?

You are not aware but actually, you and him / her are proximate friends already. is but a short 2.5 years,

How do I make friends you ask?

I have friends, friends I have known for more than 5 years, friends I have chosen – to be in my small circle of friends.

oh yeah, just caught The Blind side during wkends, and god it feels righteous in so many ways. your typically old-style story that is high on hope, low on cynicism and long on heart.

no fuss, no tall tales, no gimmick.

it was an instant hit for me and certainly no surpise why Bullock nailed it with a Golden Globe. way to go!

..Slumber Party..

so much so that i wanted to make it a private affairs, Hence, guest are limited. guest that i've extended my invitation to in FB are not confirmed. finalized name list to be advised. :) (or might not even have any guest) only my close darlings! (you know who you are) :p

the simplest joy im missing..

As i grow older, one of my guilty pleasures is to do absolutely nothing.

the feeling of knowing that you have nothing planned for the day suddenly became gratifying.

if there was anything i missed the most,

it would have been waking up to nothingness and inactivity. days of sipping over-sized lattes with my fav frothy topping and caramel sauce while enjoying my read, the slowing down of almost everything, taking stock of what you have been given and to develop a certain little underrated characteristic known as joy. Or rather lasting joy.

and for now, it’s back to work.

all the way from Indo..

Yummmilious...