" from this moment "

I was listening to "from this moment" one night before i go to bed..

memories rushes though my mind as the rythm sangs...this is what i jot down in ma notepad..

I was but just a little girl. You were but just that little boy

Love was a hefty ideology neither of us really comprehended, yet it was an allure which was untainted and innocent. We did not know how, but the recreation of that tantalizing magic was based on our minute knowledge of onscreen couples and old affectionate couples down the streets.

Those first stares to that speculative touch, the essence stems from the excitemenent mingled with fear. To all the boys i fancied in school, who carried my bag, walked that extra mile with me to the bus stop, and see me home safely, got taunted being associated with me, secretly stood by me, a boyfriend to me then was an idea i couldnt grasp.

I enjoyed the attention, embraced the affections but diverted all intentions.

i was young. too young to commit my heart to treachery. you see, a girl with zero self-esteem often interprets praise as vivid coulours of mockery. The ones that hits home is that as you get older, the less special loves becomes. the more u kissed, the lesser the rushes came.

To all my passing fancies. To the ones that came and went. To the ones that thought i was larger than life. The temperamental girl that you could never handle, someone you might had never seen the likes of before. We didnt last very long, but i never forget a single moment we shared.

In the odd way that time functions, I think about you every once in a while. You knew me when i was unpredictable, and ever-changing. You knew me when i was never the same person twice. You knew me when i still in controllable, and therefore, uninhibited. In a sense, you knew the real me.

To the hearts i broke. For sticking on so hard because you valued my happiness before yours. For taking every harsh word and every careless thought i threw to you with the tenacity and patience of an age old rock.

You were the ones that taught me how to write, who reminded me how to love, and who said that tomorrow was going to be a better day. When my heart got broken, it was then I remembered how you felt (you never once said I Told You So), and therefore I knew what it was like being you. You were the ones who brought me back to earth.

To the boys i loved. with all my heart. For you i kept the title of "boyfriend" sacred. At a very separate part of my life you were the ones that i ran to for shelter, for help when i was lost. You were part of the few I surrendered my heart to. You were my thoughts, and my actions, and every one of my inspirations.

Bad times aplenty, good times through, and my stories with you are irreplaceable. I grew up with you, and saw life through a different window. Love was once at it's summit when i was with you. Though we might have gone our separate ways somehow, you were the very foundations upon which my life as i know it, stands on.

I would have never been the same had it not been for each and every boy who saw fit to stay, for a while or for longer. To the man i loved today, the same man i'll love tomorrow, for a while or for longer, you are the essence of my life. You are the only other person in the Us that i want to be part of.

For you, I think up silly stories, and dream BIG. For you, I make the effort to understand circumstance. To all the boys who've shared my life. To those that tried to change me for the better, and those who made me my worst. If i had in any way made you a better person, or if you still smile to yourself when you think of me, know that i thought of you today.