new hearts..

"Sorry" by Buckcherry

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away

I missed you and things weren't the same[

Cause everything inside it never comes out right

And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue,

I'm sorry about all things I said to you

And I know I can't take it back

I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round

And I just wanted to say I'm sorry

This time I think I'm to blame

it's harder to get through the days

You get older and blame turns to shame.

Every single day, I think about how we came all this way

The sleepless nights and the tears you cried

it's never too late to make it right

Oh yeah sorry!

To all ma loveliesss...nice song! worth listening and repeating! :D
I'm down with fever! 38 deg..:( now i know y why my body is aching da whole day! :(

stroll under the dark sky

walking down the bustling streets, surrounded with the busy crowds..

all i could feel was all silence within. 

i experienced it once and again ever since the first time long ago..

i shouldnt have done that to maself again..

" from this moment "

I was listening to "from this moment" one night before i go to bed..

memories rushes though my mind as the rythm sangs...this is what i jot down in ma notepad..

I was but just a little girl. You were but just that little boy

Love was a hefty ideology neither of us really comprehended, yet it was an allure which was untainted and innocent. We did not know how, but the recreation of that tantalizing magic was based on our minute knowledge of onscreen couples and old affectionate couples down the streets.

Those first stares to that speculative touch, the essence stems from the excitemenent mingled with fear. To all the boys i fancied in school, who carried my bag, walked that extra mile with me to the bus stop, and see me home safely, got taunted being associated with me, secretly stood by me, a boyfriend to me then was an idea i couldnt grasp.

I enjoyed the attention, embraced the affections but diverted all intentions.

i was young. too young to commit my heart to treachery. you see, a girl with zero self-esteem often interprets praise as vivid coulours of mockery. The ones that hits home is that as you get older, the less special loves becomes. the more u kissed, the lesser the rushes came.

To all my passing fancies. To the ones that came and went. To the ones that thought i was larger than life. The temperamental girl that you could never handle, someone you might had never seen the likes of before. We didnt last very long, but i never forget a single moment we shared.

In the odd way that time functions, I think about you every once in a while. You knew me when i was unpredictable, and ever-changing. You knew me when i was never the same person twice. You knew me when i still in controllable, and therefore, uninhibited. In a sense, you knew the real me.

To the hearts i broke. For sticking on so hard because you valued my happiness before yours. For taking every harsh word and every careless thought i threw to you with the tenacity and patience of an age old rock.

You were the ones that taught me how to write, who reminded me how to love, and who said that tomorrow was going to be a better day. When my heart got broken, it was then I remembered how you felt (you never once said I Told You So), and therefore I knew what it was like being you. You were the ones who brought me back to earth.

To the boys i loved. with all my heart. For you i kept the title of "boyfriend" sacred. At a very separate part of my life you were the ones that i ran to for shelter, for help when i was lost. You were part of the few I surrendered my heart to. You were my thoughts, and my actions, and every one of my inspirations.

Bad times aplenty, good times through, and my stories with you are irreplaceable. I grew up with you, and saw life through a different window. Love was once at it's summit when i was with you. Though we might have gone our separate ways somehow, you were the very foundations upon which my life as i know it, stands on.

I would have never been the same had it not been for each and every boy who saw fit to stay, for a while or for longer. To the man i loved today, the same man i'll love tomorrow, for a while or for longer, you are the essence of my life. You are the only other person in the Us that i want to be part of.

For you, I think up silly stories, and dream BIG. For you, I make the effort to understand circumstance. To all the boys who've shared my life. To those that tried to change me for the better, and those who made me my worst. If i had in any way made you a better person, or if you still smile to yourself when you think of me, know that i thought of you today.

Day @ Zoo

hello darlings! i went Zoo Zoo on 1 of the sat. took pics. 

lemme organise those picas and update soon..:D

it might have been...

Happy mother's day to all mummiess...
i yearning to wish my mummy "Happy mother's day!" and give her a big hug..
loveliess, do u know how fortunate u are now to still have ur mummy's warmest?

i misses those days, sleeping on my mum's chest...listening to her heartbeat,with her hand embrace around ma body,so warmed.. loved.. and protected..
tt's one comfort zone tt i've been longed for ever since da day she left..

they might have been deeply in love, they swears, they promise, vows made to each other..

have u ever thought that, all these would just turn worthless if one of the party withdrawn..
they becomes a separate entity afterall...
self-involvement greed even makes em give up or sacrifices things tt once was precious to em...

For all sad words of tongue and pen,
i gueesed the saddest are these, "it might have been."

well, we cant control the uncertainty...

SHOUT OUT! "i accept the hurts, i accept the pain, i just want THE truth!"

ups and downs

Stumbled out of the meeting room and feels like crying out loud!
The high expectation has gotten me out of breath.
I knew it is immature for a 23 adult way to react. But I just did.
Tearing in ma own corner and finish up ma last task of work.

Thanks to my bestie siao eh for your company tonight.
It’s a good catch up and laughing out tgt when we were gossiping. Thanks for everything.

I decided to cab home (due to bad influence by siao eh).
motivated and thinking that I should go for a jog and instill ma mind with some peace.
I had a total 40mins of run, i can hear every beats of ma heart, beating out real loud like drumming and I completely let out maself. It feels good.

I was sweating and weeping on ma way home.
I realized, ma heart doesn’t just beat for one reason and it is for many reasons.

Omg! This is how work driving a person to be so “emo”.

Here’s sth sweet for my hun during his lunch time today.

Hi deardear,

Sharing some thoughts that always in my mind but I didn’t express it.

First of all, I’m sorry to have keep u waiting for almost every meet up since da 1st day we dated. :p
It has been 116 days that we have been together…

It started on da day when the 10 fingers locked onto each other. *winks*

I just thought of some reason why i love you a lot. (ahem! Is it what you’ve been waiting for? :p)

Alright! Hold tight and here goes,

Most of the time, it just feels good to know that there would always be someone you can lean on
and share the ginormous of life, and it is that feeling that propels you on when you know that
this person is your gong sim friend, your bolster when you sleep, the pillar when you fall,
your shopping bff and your daily dose of happiness.
Feels happy and looking forward to the end of the day for the few hours meet up,
hugs you tight to sleep and someone who will takes care of you when you are sick (I hope),
and makes sure that you remember to take your meals,
give you morning calls just to make sure u’re not late for work,
reminders to be careful on your way home alone.
Even through all this naggings, it just proved something that actually,
he wants you to take good care of yourself because he knows that he cannot be there 24/7 for you. you will feel happy hanging out and seeing this person each and every single day doing
almost the mundane or exciting stuffs within the perimeter that you both defined,
sharing laughter and jokes that only you both will understand.

I did not take all this for granted but that is what makes me realise that actually you do dotes on me a lot right?

I hopes the novelty doesn't wear off as the times goes.:)
If it does, at least we shared the same perimeter for some times in life before.

PS: I Love You. Muackss!

With hearts loads of love,
Su Yeen @ Kellyn

(Just a little contribution from me for your lunch break. Muacks!)

alright, that's all for now peeps... i needa rest..
i can feel ma muscles aching and my heart has overworked today..

sweet nights to all ma lovelieeess... ending with truckloads of loveee...:)

sharings...

" It hurt most to smile infront of everyone, and cry all alone...."